Habit Change – Core Beliefs

A Core Belief is something which you regard and take for granted as being true.  You will be aware of some of your core beliefs and others will be under the surface and you will be unaware of them.

In order for habit change to be successful, it is necessary to identifyyour core beliefs which have created the habit that you would like to change.

Sometimes this can be easy, but at other times you can be completely unaware.  Let’s take as an example, individuals who are always worried about not having enough money.

This is a scarcity mentality.  You may say that you have very little money and that is the truth.  Let’s examine what is really going on.

When did you first notice that money was an issue in your life?

Were you a child watching your parents struggle to make ends meet?

Were you an adult who either could not find work or who was made redundant?

Was there another reason?

Think about when money was short or it was difficult to come by.

Next think about how much money you would need to live comfortably.

Now, here is the big step – are you ready to change your belief?

Instead of money was scarce, how about I am open to having sufficient money to cover my needs?

Start thinking and practice knowing that you have enough money.

Each time a negative thought comes into your mind, change it to a positive one.

The more quickly you become open, the more speedily you will change from your scarcity of money mentality to having sufficient money to cover daily life.

If you are looking for a job, one may turn up.

Perhaps you will rethink what is necessity and what is not needed in your life.  This could produce savings in one area to give you the money you need in another area.

There are many possibilities.

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Habit Change – Conscious Choice

Making a conscious choice to change a habit is excellent, however, in order for the change to succeed and become a way of life, preparation is vital.

Knowing you need to make a change and wanting to make a change are two different things.  When your need to change becomes a conscious want to change you have begun to make progress.

Understanding what is causing the bad habit allows you to look at it with clarity.  You can see the benefits and the disadvantages of change.  By making a conscious effort to see the situation in another way, you can gradually begin to believe that not only is change possible, but you will also want to change for the better.

As the conscious want to change grows stronger, so you become  ready to take action and along with other preparations you allow the change to happen smoothly.

There are various techniques to help you look at the different aspects of a situation and prepare for successful change.  Finding a method that suits you is going to speed up the readiness to change.

Whether you choose to work alone, or whether you would prefer to have the support of a professional person like a coach is entirely up to you.  Sometimes one to one works well, while at other times, group situations produce speedier results.

Every New Year millions of people make resolutions.  Sadly they often fail in their intentions because they have not planned the change.  If you want to make sure the change is lasting, now is the time to start preparing for your successful and sustained new resolution to become a part of your way of life.

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Habit Change – Changing Beliefs

Beliefs create reality.  If you believe something to be true, it will come into your life.  Beliefs can be positive or negative and whatever your belief, you will bring it into your life.

Sometimes it can be hard to change a belief; perhaps we really believe it to be true, at other times we cannot see another way to believe.

If you really want something to happen and yet you cannot change your belief system at the moment, just try the mechanical approach.

Each time you catch yourself thinking there is no different way, stop yourself and change the phrase to say that there is a positive way.  That is all you need to do in the first phase.

Gradually, the mechanical thought will develop the first step into manifesting your new belief.  As time goes on, and you continue to believe and reinforce the new belief by changing every negative thought into a positive one, you will discover that the mechanical approach has been replaced by a real belief and your new habit will have become a part of your life.

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Habit Change – are some bad habits impossible to give up?

To overcome bad habits successfully, you have to find a way that suits you.

If you are an introvert and the only job you can get is in selling, this could be seen as a disaster.  Your boss could tell you to get over your bad habit of being unable to make cold calls, either on the phone or on the doorstep.

As an introvert, you may have this terror of the phone or of asking people to buy your wares, so what do you do?

You find another way to sell.  There has to be a way for introverts to sell, so you set about finding it and then you are equipped to be the best sales person in the firm.

Whether you call this giving up a bad habit or circumnavigating around a weakness until you find a way to sell that suits you is up to you!

Being an introvert and unable to pick up the phone is not a bad habit, however, if it stops you selling and the only job you can get is selling, then it could be construed as a bad habit.

To keep your job, it is up to you to do something about it!

Introverted sales people can be very good at selling as they tend to listen to their customers, discover what prospective buyers want and then find the best product or service to suit.

Perhaps if it is possible, you will team up with an extraverted colleague who is super at getting appointments, and then you go and convert the prospective clients and share the bonuses.

The extravert is happy with cold calling and you can be happy with giving excellent service and winning the business.

This is not to say that extraverts are not good at closing the deal, it is just a way to job share successfully.

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Habit Change – Being Open

Sometimes someone will say something with which you completely disagree.  Instead of dismissing it as irrelevant to you and your life, ponder a moment and see if there is a message that could be useful to you.

It can be difficult to change habits if we are closed rather than open to suggestions and observations.  Once we are open to hearing something that could be relevant to us, a new door can open.

For instance, nearly five years ago, someone remarked that the palms of my hands were peeling and the skin was broken all over the place.  At first I dismissed it saying that it was because I played golf without gloves.

The winter came and I was not playing golf.  Someone else noticed that various layers of my skin were missing from the palms of my hands.

I had been completely unaware that I was picking the skin on the palms of my hands until they were almost bleeding.  I still dismissed what was happening and refused to see that it had become a bad habit.

This carried on for some years and yet again, someone else actually caught me picking off the skin from the palms of my hands.

I now decided it was time to do something, only to realise that it had become a bad habit and it was not so easy to just give up on a whim.

Several times I tried to give up, but the habit had become so ingrained that often I was completely unaware that I was picking off the layers of skin.

Physician heal thyself – I help others to let go of bad habits, all I had to do was follow the simple six step plan!  So easy when you can see the light, and so impossible when you can’t!

While planning how to give up, it suddenly dawned on me that I had started picking the skin when severely stressed.  My mother had been at death’s door, thankfully she has recovered and various other members of my family were, to put it politely, causing me a lot of stress, plus I had a brain disease which meant that there was little energy available for everything that was going on in my life.

To calm me down, I started, unwittingly and unknowningly to pick the skin from the palms of my hand.

On realising this, I looked at my present situation and realised how much it had changed.  My mother is now wonderfully well and there are some strategies in place for dealing with the other stresses in my life.

Suddenly, I have been able to stop picking the palms of my hands!  Occasionally in a stressful moment, I might become aware of being about to pick the skin and I remind myself that to enjoy the golf again, I would like to have every layer of skin in place on the palms of my hands.

It is wonderfully exciting to “watch” the skin grow back.  Examining my palms frequently – not every day, but several times a week, I am noticing how much better they are becoming.

Progress continues really well and there are only about two layers to grow on the left hand and one layer on the right hand – roll on a full set of skin layers to the palms of my hands!

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Habit Change – Love

How much do you really love yourself?

Do you :

*  make time to do something just for you on a regular basis?

*  have a balance between work, rest and play?

*  study to develop your personal and spiritual growth?

*  eat healthily?

*  exercise regularly?

*  have real friends who support and also share good and bad times?

How many questions could you answer Yes to?  The more you could say “Yes”, the nearer you are to truly loving yourself.

Why is loving yourself so important?

When you want to let go of a bad habit, it is so much easier if you see what harm it is doing to you.  When you love yourself, you want to do what is best for you, and therefore by loving yourself it is easier to let go of a bad habit.

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Habit Change – Perspective

Perspective is a peculiar thing.  Two people can describe the same accident and if you read the transcripts of what each one saw, you could think they were describing two completely different events!  Any doubts, just ask a policeman who has taken witness statements!

Perspective is a view and views are subjective.  Next time you are having a discussion with someone who has a differing perspective to yourself, put yourself in their shoes and see the situation from their angle.

You now have two perspectives – yours and the other person.  Next, imagine that you are observing yourself and the other person having the discussion and both of you having different view points.  As the observer, what would your perspective be?

If you learn to look at three perspectives, it can be helpful in seeing the best way forwards, or resolving a disagreement with either compromise or agreeing to disagree.

Being able to see various perspectives is a great asset when communicating with people, whether business or family, friends or colleagues.

Seeing different perspectives can take the heat out of the situation.  It can also help to distinguish fact from fiction.

Changing your perspective is a great asset in habit change.  At the moment your bad habit is serving you well in some way.  By looking at different perspectives, you can discover some benefits of giving up your habit and choosing a good habit to replace it.

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Habit Change – Attitude

Having the right attitude can be the difference between enjoyment and frustration; it is your choice!

For instance you take your aunt shopping every week.  It is actually a duty as she is disabled and needs help in many ways.  This could become a chore as she is quite demanding, or it could be fun if you set a  positive tone and encourage her to appreciate all she has in life.

You can play a game and change every negative thing that is said into a positive phrase; this can actually produce a laugh sometimes.

When she is safely back in her home and you have left her, how is your energy?  If you are tired and drained, then you have been using negative energy and if not on the surface, then underneath, you have seen it as a chore.

If you feel good and have lots of bounce, then you enjoyed the experience and have plenty of energy to carry on and do what you would like to do.

Next time you have a chore or a duty, think how you can change your attitude from negative to positive.  If you have difficulty thinking what positive means in this negative situation, then ask someone for their ideas on how to make the situation positive.

Since discovering how a positive attitude can give me more energy, life has a been a lot easier.

Yes, occasionally, I do lapse into negativity, and as soon as I realise what has happened, I just flip the switch back from problem to opportunity and see how to enjoy life again.

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Habit Change – Energy

The more energy we have, the easier it is to get started, to keep going, to stay determined and remain upbeat while we are letting go of bad habits and replacing them with good ones.

When energy flows positively, life is effortless and we can accomplish so much more.  It also helps us to be optimistic, flexible and open to new and good habits.

Next time you are full of energy, think about what you are feeling, what you are doing and what is fun.

When you are exhausted, what have you been doing?

Has it been :

mentally frustrating?

perhaps emotionally draining?

Negative energy causes the above and they do indeed make you tired.

When you are tired, it is easier to give in and give up, so positive energy is vital to sustain habit change long term.

To reverse your energy from negative to positive, imagine a scene where you are doing something you love.  In the picture you are smiling, happy and having a good time.  Stay with the scene in your mind until you can start to feel the energy turn from negative to positive.

The above exercise will help to lift you into positive mode.  A good night’s sleep can also boost the energy positively.

It is amazing how life can improve, simply by living in positive energy mode rather than with negative energy.

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Habit Relationships – Procrastination

Procrastination can have many causes, however, a common reason is perfectionism.  The thought of never being able to produce a perfect result stops you starting.

Let’s look at this realistically – is it healthier to be practical and finish the project so that it is acceptable, or would it be better to not start at all, but instead spend the time worrying about what others will be thinking if you do not produce everything perfectly?

How could you think differently?

One idea would be to find out what is required, what is acceptable and what is the boundary between OK and NOT OK.

By discovering the answers to the above, you then know what you have to do.  Knowing is so much easier than not knowing.  It also allows you to plan how much time you will need to work on the project to finish it.

Next time you are procrastinating, how about writing down the essentials to what is required for the project or task.

Having done that, take the plunge and just get going.  Once you have laid the foundation stones, you can ascertain what is to be done next and then just DO it!

If it helps to tell someone what you are doing so that you can be accountable, then choose an individual who will be supportive and even better, inspiring!

Sharing is a wonderful way to leap into action and just DO what is required.

Think of that wonderful feeling when the task is complete.  It may not be perfect, but it is certainly acceptable.

How would life be if you gave up procrastinating?

Would you have more time to enjoy life?

Would you be more content?

What other benefits are there for giving up procrastination?  Do let me know.

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